On Balancing the Ideal Self and the Real Self
We all have an Ideal Self. That person we would want to be if everything was going “right” in our lives. “Ideal Meghan” is a forest witch, gathering herbs and vegetables from her garden, feeding her family food made from scratch, living seasonally and celebrating the natural world Love has created with other women in ritual.
Real Meghan, however, is a full-time teacher, mom, and business owner. She lives in suburbia in an unforested area of Texas, with not a whole heck of a lot of witches around.
It can feel sometimes like we should just “give up.” Just accept things the way they are. And to some extent, that’s true. We do need to accept where we are. Someone I love, stuck in a situation they didn’t love but with no way out, told me that they decided where they lived was their monastic cell, and they would accept the gifts of learning God offered there. That’s incredibly healthy!
On the other hand, sometimes we feel like we’re failing if we aren’t our ideal. We need to be constantly *working* toward it.
But maybe there can be a balance. Maybe we can be happy where we are AND bring forward parts of our Ideal Self into our Real Life. Here are the two questions I ask myself to balance the ideal and the real:
How does my Ideal Self FEEL?
My Ideal Self feels well-nourished in body because of the exercise from gardening and fresh food. She feels spiritually nourished by her community, by time with the Earth, and by time with Creator.
2. How can I bring that feeling to life in the real world?
I can’t move to the forest, but I can prioritize hiking on my days off. I don’t have time to garden and preserve, and I quite honestly don’t like cooking anyway, but I can buy the highest quality jarred spaghetti sauce I can find. There aren’t a lot of witches around me, but I can connect online, or work toward creating my own community (both things I’m working on!). I can create small, everyday rituals to feel connected with Spirit.
Bonus question: How much of my ideal self comes from what I see on the internet?
We all do it. Homesteading on the internet looks easy. Portraits of women dancing in moonlight bring jealousy or desire. Someone else’s perfect garden, perfect home, perfect life… If you didn’t have the internet, would your Ideal Self be the same as what you are wanting now? Without comparisons, who would you want to be?
What is one way you can bring your Ideal Self into the real world this week? Tell me in the comments!
