On avoiding “busy”
I think the word “busy” is a blight on society. “How are you doing?” “Oh, you know. Busy, busy!” We wear it as a badge of honor. We feel like we are valuable if we are constantly busy. We are doing something to contribute to society!
I live in the real world. I have a full-time job, a family, a business, training to complete… and yet, my family is one of the least busy families I know, and that’s intentional. I want my life to be filled with deep love, not shallow, spread-out busy-ness, like too little jelly on too much toast.
Here are three ways my family avoids the busy blight:
Kids activities are limited to school and church.
They are allowed to be in extracurricular activities through the school. But we don’t sign them up for things outside of that. We don’t need select teams to make our kids special. We’d rather have quality time with them so they know they’re already special.
2. Delegating
As a general rule of life, if it can be done by someone else, I don’t do it. If a chore is something my children are big enough to do, it becomes their chore, not mine. We hire out the lawn maintenance for now (I’d much rather just get rid of the lawn!), and recently purchased a robot vacuum. If I can take something off my plate, I won’t keep doing it just to keep busy.
3. Intentional slowness
I have two natural speeds: urgency and sloth. I want to hurry up and get the work done so I can rest! I’m learning to sometimes slow down and do chores with deliberate slowness and attention.
As a family we take a Sabbath day every week. Sometimes unavoidable things come up. We call this a “donkey in the well” moment, and we handle it. But as a rule, we have made it a priority that one day of the week is for play, togetherness, ritual, and rest. We may pray, watch TV, hike, or nap. We don’t use social media on our Sabbath day, either.
I’m always looking for ways to slow down further and live a simpler life. In what ways do you slow down with your family?
